Thinking, and examining how we think, is central to cognitive therapy. A lot of the time, people assume that the way you feel and the way you behave is caused by various situations in our lives. For example, Mary may assume that she is anxious because she has too much on at work.
But this explanation is misleading, skipping a vital part of the process. In between the situation (lots of demands at work) and the feeling (anxiety), an important process has taken place - you think about the situation and interpret it in various ways. In our example, Mary may be saying to herself "I have to get this all done on time or I'll be sacked! It's terrible to have all of this work to do! I just can't cope!". Following on from this stream of thought, Mary begins to feel anxious.
We all have an internal dialogue, a conversation inside our heads, which operates in our daily life. This narrative has a major influence on our feelings and actions.
This idea is explained in the diagram below:
The way you feel, and the way you consequently behave is influenced by your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes about various situations in your life.
Negative Thinking
Not all thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes that we hold are necessarily helpful or useful to us. For example, if you believed that you can fly, you may end up with some broken bones. If you tend to believe that you are not a worthwhile person, this may lead you to become depressed. Anxious people tend to think thoughts which increase their anxiety in everyday situations. Thoughts like these which tend to be unhelpful are known as 'negative thoughts'. Negative thoughts have the following characteristics:- They are not realistic or logical
- They are thoughts which increase negative feelings such as anxiety, poor self esteem, or stress
- They are self-defeating
- They are entrenched and happen 'automatically' - without us noticing
- "All-or-Nothing" Thinking - Things are viewed in black-and-white categories, with no shades of grey in between. If a situation does not go perfectly, you view it as a total failure. All-or-nothing thinking is thinking in extremes. For example, "Unless I perform perfectly in everything I do, I am a failure". Perfectionism is very related to this way of thinking. Perfectionists have unrealistically high expectations of themselves and other people.
- Overgeneralisation - A single negative event, such as a romantic rejection or a career setback, is viewed as a recurrent pattern of defeat. Words such as "always" or "never" tend to crop up here, for example, if a person is rejected by his girlfriend he may think "Just my luck! Women are always dumping me!"
- Mental Filter - A single negative aspect of an event or situation is picked out and dwelt upon, to the exclusion of all other aspects of the event or situation. For example: If you conduct a presentation to a group of people and receive positive feedback from 9 people, and a mildly critical comment from 1 person, you spend days obsessing about the negative comment and ignore the positive feedback.
- Discounting the Positive - You reject positive experiences by insisting that they 'don't count'. For example, if you are congratulated on your presentation you may insist that `anyone could have done that', or say to yourself that you could have done a much better job. Discounting the positives takes the joy out of life and makes you feel inadequate and unrewarded.
- Jumping to Conclusions - Interpreting things in a negative manner even though there is no evidence to support your conclusion. This may involve mind-reading, where, without checking out your facts, you conclude that you know what someone else is thinking about you ("She thinks I'm an idiot"), or fortune-telling, where you predict that things will turn out badly ("This presentation is going to be a disaster").
- Emotional Reasoning - You assume that because you feel bad, the situation must be negative. For example, "I'm really scared to get on a plane, so it must be very dangerous to fly". Or: "I feel guilty. That must mean I'm a rotten person". Or: "I feel inferior. That must mean I'm a second rate person".
- Absolutes, or "Shoulds, Shouldn'ts, Ought To's, & Must's" - You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to be. For example, a talented musician tells himself he shouldn't have made so many mistakes when playing a song on his guitar. He feels so disgusted in himself that he stops playing for several months. Musts, ought-to's, and have-to's are similar offenders. Such statements tend to lead to negative feelings. Many people try to motivate themselves using should statements ("I should go on a diet, or I shouldn't eat that"), but usually this doesn't work as you get the urge to be rebellious and may do the complete opposite!
- Labeling - This is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking. Instead of saying "I made a mistake", you say "I'm a complete loser". You may label yourself a fool, a failure, a no-hoper. Labeling is irrational, as you are not the same as what you do. Labeling can be applied to other people as well, which unfairly generalizes about the other person in a derogatory way. For example, "My boss is an idiot". These labels are just abstractions that make people feel bad about themselves or others.
- Personalisation and Blame - Personalisation happens when you hold yourself responsible for something that is not entirely under your control. When a father received a report card for his son which was critical of his progress, he told himself "This shows what a bad father I've been". A woman who is beaten by her husband may believe "If I was a better person he wouldn't hit me". People may also blame other people for their problems, for example "I beat my wife because she drives me to it". Blame does not work because it prevents you from taking responsibility for your life.
- Entitlement - When a person assumes that they have the right to have something, simply because they want it. For example, "If someone annoys me I'm entitled to lose my temper with them". Feeling entitled ignores the rights of the other person.
- "Awfulising", or Catastrophic Thinking - This is when people make out situations to be much worse than they actually are, and when they envision the absolute worst case scenario. For example, "It's awful that I have so much work to do, I'm sure that I'm going to do a terrible job and everyone will hate me for it".
Tuning into Your Thoughts
In everyday life, people experience literally thousands of thoughts. It is important to train yourself to 'tune in' to these thoughts, and in particular, to tune into those negative thoughts which are contributing to your anxiety.It is very important to become aware of your negative thoughts in various situations. Most of the time, people are not aware of the sorts of things they are telling themselves, and so are not aware of the self-defeating negative thought patterns which are determining their feelings. Tuning into your thoughts is a skill, which needs to be developed. Keeping a journal is an effective way of identifying your negative thought patterns. For homework, keep a journal for the next two weeks. Try to write in it every day, particularly when you are feeling a strong emotion. A sample journal is presented below:
| Date | Situation | Thoughts | Feelings | Behaviour |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 01/01/00 | Boss asks me to do a presentation in front of colleagues | I can't do that! I'll stuff it up! Everyone will laugh at me! |
Anxious Panicked |
Called in sick the day of the presentation |
The above journal format is different to how most of us would keep an everyday diary. As you can see above, it is quite strictly formatted into sections which divide thoughts and feelings from situations and behaviours. This type of format helps to identify the negative automatic thoughts, and it allows us to see how the thought is leading to the feelings, and how the thoughts and feelings influence the behaviours.
Changing Your Thinking
Keeping a journal of your automatic negative thinking is the first step in changing your patterns. But of course, simply writing them down will not do much to alter them. Learning how to destroy your negative thinking patterns is central to CBT. During sessions, you will learn how to challenge, or how to "talk back" to your negative thoughts, effectively silencing them. You will start to notice that it is becoming "quieter" in your head, as the myriad of negative thoughts start to slow down, and then to cease altogether. In its place, you create balanced, realistic thinking, which helps and supports you through your life.CBT also teaches you how to identify underlying negative belief systems, which operate in a much more underhanded and sneaky way than negative thoughts. It's often difficult to identify belief systems, as we don't "hear" them in the same way that we hear negative thoughts. During sessions you will learn to identify your own belief systems, and then learn how to change negative systems that aren't helping you to live happily.
Self Essentials psychologists are all expertly trained in helping people identify and change negative thinking and belief systems. It's a very difficult change to make on your own - why not ask for expert help? Self Essentials psychologists will train you how to make these changes, so you effectively become your own therapist.